Nicholas Teo張棟樑-低調MV

Sorry That I Loved You...

Verse 1
For all of the times that I tried for your smile
For making you think that I was worth the while
So your love love love love love would be mine

Verse 2
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
That no one was there to take a stand
But then love love love made us blind

Chorus
And I’m so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry I was falling in love with you
I’m sorry that it came true but sorry doesn’t turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
So sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
Sorry that I held you tight

Verse 3 
And I’m so sorry for…
Making you love me and saying goodbye
For being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by

Verse 4
For giving you every thing that you dreamed
For taking it back when I fled the scene
Sorry love, for wasting your time

Bridge:
An apology now after all of this time
Won’t make any difference tonight
But I’m hoping I’m sorry will open your mind
To love love love love in your life

Have you any regrets that's been bothering you?? Do you ever wished that you would have done what you wanted in the past? Do you ever wished that you would have said what you wanted to say in the past?? Have you wished that you would want to turn back the time and do all the things you now regretted? Have you wished before that there is a time machine that will brings you back to the past and corrected all the mistakes and do all the regrets you'd done and wish to do?? 

Regret??

Yesterday when I was trying to study, one of my Malay course mate asked me. "Do you think our course has a bright future??" I was startled. I was like, err... okay, I've been on this situation myself before. I did, on the first thought, thought that my course would never have a bright future. I've asked a senior before, she said only some of the seniors that have graduated were offered jobs relating to our course. Some even went teaching.(Note: that's what my mum told me to do if I can't manage to get a related job). And I did thought of stopping from this course and took nursing (that's the only course that interest me until now). But, on second thought, why should I stop? I've been here for like, 2 years, and now, I thought of quitting?? After all, it's the knowledge that I'm after, not to mention the amount of money I've put into this course. I'll never learn how to cook western dishes if I'm in the nursing course, right? And now, I feel like I'm starting to like this course even more than before. Even if after I graduated, I couldn't find a related job, I could always opt for another options like taking up the nursing course I've always wanted(or maybe after graduated, I don't feel like becoming a nurse anymore) or even opening a cafe (both my parents and some of my secondary closed-teachers even offered me to open a cafe that has the ability to organize big events). Right now, all I felt was not regret but the eager to carry on studying on this course and finishing it up with flying colors!

For now, I'm waiting for next Sunday night to be on the bus to go back home! I wish to be home as soon as possible and meet with my parents. I miss them so much! After all these pressures I've been taking, I really miss them so much. When my mum called me last night, I suddenly detected the coarseness of her voice. I thought she'd just woke up. But when she told me, she was just starting to be sick, and my dad had just recovered form his sickness, I felt a surge of regret and sadness rushing through my brain, into my mind, into my heart!! I felt so useless!! I will always call 2 or 3 days in between. But the calls I made all these while, I felt so meaningless! What's the point of calling home when you don't even know what's happening there??? I even argued with my brother because of this issue. I blamed him for not telling me what happened in the house. But deep down inside, I know it's my fault. It was me who are not concerned about home. It was me who always talked about my stuffs rather than asked about home! I can't help but blame me, myself!! At that time, I really felt so regret and so feeling like banging my head on the wall!!

Finally!!

Finally finished my presentation!!haha...what a relief!!after tomorrow, I'll be more relief! But suddenly feel scared about tomorrow's FINAL COOKING... Don't know what's going to happen... Hopefully can finish all the 6 dishes on time. If not, the marks will be gone. Hopefully I won't do silly mistakes tomorrow that will affects my marks. Please let my feelings, emotions, mind calm down. Do NOT get nervous and forget steps. Tonight, I'll have to prepare both physically and mentally. Esp. mentally!

How I Wish I could...

Can we pretend that the airplanes

in the night sky

are like the shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now...

How I wish I could finish everything in ONE day and don't need to worry the next day...

How I wish I could start it all over again and be more strict when it comes to making decisions...

How I wish I could change the attitudes I acted towards my group members and make them listen to my opinions and not just theirs...

How I wish I could hear your voice and forgets about ALL the problems...

How I wish I could hear your soothing voice that makes me 念念不忘。。。

How I wish I could hear it all over again and you would just solve all my problems...

How I wish I could have you and it will be the only thing I've ever wanted...