rYnn's th0ughT...

我们俩是不可能的~~

2012-01-09T11:17:00.000+08:00

说真的，我越来越觉得害怕~~

害怕会开始习惯了~~

害怕会习惯你的存在~

害怕会习惯你的声音~

害怕会习惯每一天搜到你的SMS~

害怕会习惯有你的日子~

害怕会习惯你的一切~~

最怕的是，害怕会爱上你~

害怕现在已经开始喜欢上你了~~

所以，从现在开始，

我要努力地去不喜欢你~~

我要努力地去不爱你~~

我要努力地不要习惯你的存在~~

我要努力地不要习惯你的声音~~

我要努力地不要每天和你SMS

我要努力地不要习惯有你的日子~~

我要努力地不要习惯你的一切~~

因为，

我知道我们俩是不可能的~~

你是不可能会喜欢上我的~~

你是不可能会爱上我的~~

我真的真的很害怕~~怎么办才好？？ TT

2011-11-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

Finally there's one thing that I could make you laughed up to this level~ Hopefully, it will stay this way~~ ^_^

2011-10-02T03:04:00.000+08:00

我承认我喜欢你~那又怎样？至少我敢承认~~那你呢？？
喜欢一个人有错吗？？为什么要把这一切搞到这个地步？？
我自己觉得如果喜欢一个人就要说出来~你不知道是否对方也是喜欢你的~
如果你没说出来的话，那你就有可能会错过这个机会~
其实我并不觉得后悔我有告诉你这个事~
虽然我知道我和你是不可能的，但我还是希望你永远过得开心的~~
也会找到比我更好的女人~~

2011-09-27T23:47:00.002+08:00

有时候突然心情很低落，

不想说话也不想动。

别人问起，也不知道该怎样回答。

明明自己身边有很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。

也许是因为突然听到的一句话，

也许是看见某个物体联想到了什么，

也许是朋友那发来的一条短信，

也许什么都不是。

其实，很多事情不需要理由，也没有理由。

这样的情绪有人可以理解吗？

Love or just for fun?

2011-09-26T21:34:00.000+08:00

I know it's not possible~ You said before, you won't fall for your close friends~ But why I could sense that you had feelings for her? Why your every actions lead me to believing that you actually had feelings for her? Your every body languages, every 眼神 when you look at her, every status about her made me believe that you already fall for her~~ But why each time we talked about it, you just wouldn't want to tell the truth~ Is it really love or you're just playing around with her feelings?

Ryan Cabrera - True

2011-08-11T22:29:00.000+08:00

I won't talk

I won't breathe

I won't move till you finally see

That you belong with me

You might think

I don't look

But deep inside in the corner of my mind

I'm attatched to you

mmmm

I'm weak

It's true

Cause I'm afraid to know the answer

Do you want me too?

Cause my heart keeps falling faster

[chorus]

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing that's true

So I will not hide

It's time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

You don't know

What you do

Everytime you walk into the room

I'm afraid to move

I'm weak

It's true

I'm just scared to know the ending

Do you see me too?

Do you even know you meant me!

[Chorus]

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing that's true

So I will not hide

It's time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

I know when I go

I'll be on my way to you

The way that's true

[chorus]

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing that's true

So I will not hide

It's time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

Olivia Ong - Sometimes When We Touch

2011-08-08T21:37:00.001+08:00

You ask me if I love you, and I choke on my reply

I'd rather hurt you honestly, than mislead you with a lie

And who am I to judge you, in what you say or do

I'm only just beginning, to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch, the honesty is too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I want to hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry

I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy, leaves me battling with my pride

But through all the insecurity, some tenderness survives

I'm just another writer, still trapped within my truth

A hesitant prize fighter, still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch, the honesty is too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I want to hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry

I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you, and drive you to your knees

At times I'd like to break through, and hold you endlessly

At times I understand you, and I know how hard you try

I watched while love commands you, and I've watched love pass you by

At times I think were drifters, still searching for a friend

A brother or a sister, but then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch, the honesty is too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I want to hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry

I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

嚴爵好的事情 MV

2011-08-05T16:22:00.001+08:00

休息

是为了走更长的路

你就是我的旅途

都是因为你

我一直漫步

想要跟你一起走到最后

但我遗失了地图

谁给谁束缚

谁比谁辛苦

爱到深处才会领悟

好的事情

最后虽然结束

感动十分

就有十分满足

谢谢你

是你陪我走过那些路

痛是以后无法再给你幸福

好的事情

也许能够重复

感动时分

就算纷纷模糊

不要哭

至少你和我记得很清楚

爱是为彼此祝福

想要跟你一起走到最后

但我遗失了地图

谁给谁束缚

谁比谁辛苦

爱到深处才会领悟

好的事情

最后虽然结束

感动十分

就有十分满足

谢谢你

是你陪我走过那些路

痛是以后无法再给你幸福

好的事情

也许能够重复

感动时分

就算纷纷模糊

不要哭

至少你和我记得很清楚爱

是为彼此祝福

不要哭

至少你和我记得很清楚

爱是为彼此祝福

Say Hello To Goodbye - Shontelle

2011-08-05T15:24:00.003+08:00

Hey there stranger, how you been

Feels like I'm standing on the outside looking in

At the mess we left behind

And it's a long way to fall

I gave you everything I had

I gave it all

And then my heart was on the line

I can't hate you

Any longer

I know I'm going to miss you

I'll forget it and let it go.

Say hello to goodbye, cause it's gone forever

No more try, you and I

Not now, not ever

And I'll get by without you

I'm not going back again

I'm not going to lie to you

Cause, that was there and only then.

Say hello to goodbye

Say hello...

And this is how it has to be

Cause it's a deadly combination, you and me

You know it's undeniable

Even though we tried it all

We brought the worst out in each other

I recall

We can't act it anymore

What doesn't kill you

It makes you stronger

And though I'm going to miss you

I'll forget it and let you go

Say hello to good-bye

It's gone forever

No more try, you and I

Not now, not ever

And I'll get by without you

I'm not going back again

I'm not going to lie to you

Cause, that was there and only then.

Say hello to goodbye

Say hello...

And even though the tears will dry

I can't completely disconnect

Couldn't make the compromise

Didn't have a safety net

Say hello to goodbye

Heeey ya ya

Say hello, goodbye

Say hello to good-bye

It's gone forever

No more try, you and I

Not now, not ever

And I'll get by without you

I'm not going back again

I'm not going to lie to you

Cause, that was there and only then.

Say hello, to goodbye

Say hello, hello

To goodbye.

Unbelievable!!~

2011-06-18T23:46:00.001+08:00

Nothing weird about this picture right?

Go on, look at the next picture~

Err...still nothing wrong ah??

Err...okayyy......WHAT is it down there?? o.O

Proceed if only you're prepared....

A1 - Every time

2011-06-09T12:42:00.000+08:00

A1 - Every time

Lately, I'm not who I used to be

Someone's come and taken me

Where I don't wanna go

If I knew

Exactly what I have to do

In order to be there for you

When you are feeling low

And all the things we ever wanted

Were once yours and mine

Now I know we can revive it

All the love we left.....

Every time I kiss I feel your lips

And everytime I cry

I see you smile

And everytime I close my eyes

I realize

That everytime I hold your hand in mine

The sweetest thing my heart could ever find

And I have never felt this way

Since the day I gave your love away

Save me

I've fallen from my destiny

You and I were meant to be

I've thrown it all away

Now you're gone

It's time for me to carry on

But baby I just can't go on

Without you by my side

And all the things we ever wanted

Were once yours and mine

Now I know we can revive it

All the love we left...

Every time I kiss I feel your lips

And everytime I cry

I see you smile

And everytime I close my eyes

I realize

That everytime I hold your hand in mine

The sweetest thing my heart could ever find

And I have never felt this way

Since the day I gave your love away

We can survive it

all the pain we feel inside

You relied on me

And now I've let you down

Now I promise you forever

I will be the best I can

Now I know we can revive it

All the love we left....

Every time I kiss

I feel your lips

And everytime I cry

I see you smile

And everytime I close my eyes

I realize

That everytime I hold your hand in mine

The sweetest thing my heart could ever find

And I have never felt this way

Since I gave your love away

Every time I kiss

I feel your lips

And everytime I cry

I see you smile

And everytime I close my eyes

I realize

That everytime I hold your hand in mine

The sweetest thing my heart could ever find

And I have never felt this way

Since the day I gave your love away

Happy B'day Mummy!!

2011-06-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

Mummy's cake.. ICE-CREAM cake!~ =D

Making wish, wishes!~ ^_^

This 1 nicer or...

...this 1?hehe~ ^_^

Daddy and mummy~~ <3 <3 <3

粽子 Festival~~

2011-06-05T00:03:00.000+08:00

Zongzi (or zong) (Chinese: 粽子) is a traditional Chinese food, made of glutinous rice stuffed with different fillings and wrapped in bamboo or reed leaves. They are cooked by steaming or boiling.

Quoted from Wikipedia~

~The leaves used to make 'bak chang'~

~The salted egg yolk~

~The glutinous rice~

~The meat and mushrooms~

~无聊-ing while waiting for the meat to cook~

~The way to lipat. Actually none of us in the family knows how to balut this thing. Haha.~

~Daddy took this picture. Haha.. I looked so fat! =( ~

~The ones that I did~ =D

~Orang gila trying to eat~ Haha~ =D

~The 'bak chang' of 1kg of glutinous rice~

~Changes~

2011-06-03T00:17:00.002+08:00

Changes for a better future~

Changes for a better perspectives~

Changes to become a better person~

Changes that are needed to fulfill my dreams~

Changes to remove all bad memories and create new ones~

Changes that will not let other people to look down on me~

Changes that are needed to pursue what I want~

Changes that won't let people come across me~

Changes to my old characteristics into anew~

Changes that will change my whole life~

*Wish me all the best in changing into a new person~*
*I don't want the old me~ I hate the old me~*

Fakers!!~

2011-05-31T23:40:00.000+08:00

I just realized how FAKE people are nowadays!! On the surface, they acted like they cared about you so much, but in reality, they are just FAKERS!!~ How is it that I'm so easy to be cheated on, thinking all, ALL of you actually cared about me??! Now, I got the feeling that I'm actually being used!! You guys just took advantage on me!! WHY am I so easily got used by other people??! I tried to be nice with them, making friends with them, going out with them whenever they asked to, thinking that they feel the same way too! That they wanted to BE friends with me! But now, IT'S ALL A LIE!! Even now, I don't even want to call you guys, LIARS, 'cause to me, you guys are my friends!! I guess not anymore now!

David Cook - The Last Goodbye

2011-05-30T23:16:00.001+08:00

The Last Goodbye-David Cook

If you hear this on the radio

Then we've already said our last goodbye

I won't be there when you get home

By now there's someone else that hears you cry

I wonder if he holds you like I did

I hope that he can love you better

Cause we were everything that's right at the wrong time

CHORUS:

I didn't want to lose you

Leave you with a broken heart

But wherever we are, we're miles apart

I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

Oh, I didn't want to let you go

But wherever we are, we're miles apart

I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

We were almost beautiful

A broken piece of art put on display

But we were never possible

Another perfect moment thrown away

I know somebody out there will love you

They'll be the forever we never were

Cause we were everything that's right at the wrong time

CHORUS

I didn't want to lose you

Leave you with a broken heart

But wherever we are, we're miles apart

I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

Oh, I didn't want to let you go

But wherever we are, we're miles apart

I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

If you hear this on the radio

Then we've already said our last goodbye

Our last goodbye

CHORUS

I didn't want to lose you

Leave you with a broken heart

But wherever we are, we're miles apart

I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

The last goodbye

I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

Unlucky Day~

2011-05-29T23:00:00.022+08:00

Today started quite well..

Woke up at 9am~

Had breakfast at a Chinese shop in Sitiawan~

Came back home at around 11am~

After sweeping the house, went shopping with my mum and bro~

Back home at 2pm~

Had lunch~

Sleep~

*It's so damn boring!! Why this person still post about it?urgh~*

haha...OK, here comes the "moment"...

Proceed if only you're prepared....

張惠妹‧我最親愛的‧完整MV

2011-05-27T15:51:00.001+08:00

~~我最亲爱的~~

很想知道你近况我听人说还不如你对我讲
经过那段遗憾请你放心我变得更加坚强
世界不管怎样荒凉爱过你就不怕孤单
我最亲爱的你过的怎么样
没我的日子你别来无恙
依然亲爱的我没让你失望
让我亲一亲像过去一样
我想你一定喜欢现在的我
学会了你最爱的开朗
想起你的模样有什么错还不能够被原谅
世界不管怎样荒凉爱过你就不怕孤单
我最亲爱的你过的怎么样
没我的日子你别来无恙
依然亲爱的我没让你失望
让我亲一亲像朋友一样
虽然离开了你的时间一起还漫长我们总能补偿
因为中间空白的时光如果还能分享也是一种浪漫
关系虽然不再一样关心却怎么能说断就断
我最亲爱的你过的怎么样
没我的日子你别来无恙
依然亲爱的我没让你失望
让我亲一亲像亲人一样
我最亲爱的你过的怎么样
没我的日子你别来无恙
依然亲爱的我没让你失望
让我亲一亲像过去一样

无话可说

2011-05-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

我想，

刚才我所说的话，

你都不把它放在心里。。

算了啦。。

就当这些是我的错吧~~

就算我发生了什么事，

你都不会来关心我的啦。。

我该习惯了啦。。

Proceed if only you're prepared....

Just A Kiss - Lady Antebellum

2011-05-19T23:40:00.000+08:00

Just A Kiss
written by Charles Kelley,Hillary Scott,Dave Haywood and Dallas Davidson

Lying here with you so close to me
It's hard to fight these feelings
When it feels so hard to breathe
Caught up in this moment
Caught up in your smile

I never open up to anyone
So hard to hold back
When I'm holding you in my arms

We don't need to rush this
Let's just take it slow

Chorus
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time
it'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real
No it's never felt so right

Chorus
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight
I know it's time to leave but you'll be in my dreams
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight

Chorus
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

Let's do this right with just a kiss goodnight
With a kiss goodnight
A kiss goodnight

REALISTIC People~~

2011-04-28T20:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it feels really weird...
The person who does not really contacted you for quite some time,
suddenly messaged you and asked for your help~
hmm...not that I don't want to help,
but the people are really realistic!

When they need our help,
they find us~
When they don't,
they just ignore you and thought as if you weren't there at all!!~

When they are happy and are really having fun with their friends,
they don't even think of contacting you~
When they needed your help to do anything,
they will come asking for your help,
no matter whether you are busy, emo-ing, or even having finals!~

I know I do act like this at times,
but I won't be that realistic lorh~~
Come on larh~
when you don't need me,
you throw me away
as if I don't know you at all!~
as if we're not best friends at all!~
as if you or me don't love each other before!!~

And today,
I only realized that some of the things that I said or do,
people may take me for granted!!~ just like that!!
I mean, please larh~
at 3pm in the afternoon, you asked me to go and find the person and talk???
and you know damn well that this place is SOOO hot these few days!!!
And after getting all the info you want, especially the auntie's handphone number,
YOU take ALL the credits by yourself!!
Not that I want those credits, but PLEASE
do acknowledge our parts too~~
It's not like you do ALL THE WORKS by yourself!~
I know you plan the event, so what??
That does not gives you ALL the rights you want!!

这些话、这么短、那么暖…

2011-04-17T14:12:00.000+08:00

1、在年轻的时候，如果你爱上了一个人，请你，请你一定要温柔地对待他。不管你们相爱的时间有多长或多短，若你们能始终温柔地相待，那么，所有的时刻都将是一种无瑕的美丽。若不得不分离，也要好好地说声再见，也要在心里存着感谢，感谢他给了你一份记忆。——席慕蓉《无怨的青春》

2、如果有一天你停机了，谁会为你充值呢？或许，这辈子，我们永远不会遇到这样的人。但请记住：那些在你停机后为你充值的人，才是真正关心你的真正要找你的人。

3、结局和过程都有了，再去纠缠，连自己都觉得贪婪

4、有人问我，喜欢和爱有什么不同，或许，喜欢就是你喜欢我，因为我是不错的人，但你爱她，即使她是错的人。

5、：因为有你，我认真过，我改变过，我努力过，我悲伤过----我傻，为你傻；我痛，为你痛；深夜里，你是我一种惯性的回忆----我不想在为过去而挣扎，我不想在为过去而努力，我不想在为思念而牵挂，可这些都只是不想，我，做不到......

6、：“以往，我只在人前呈现出最好的一面。如今我不介意你看到我的缺点，因为我希望你接受的，是一个完整的我。”

7、我可以不是你第一个喜欢的人,不是你第一个牵手的人,不是你第一个拥抱的人,不是你第一个亲吻的人,不是你第一个拥有的人。但希望,我是你遇到痛苦第一个想倾诉的人，是你遇到快乐第一个想分享的人，是你遇到挫折第一个想能依靠的人，是你今生以后第一个相伴的人。所以请将你心里的某个第一放心的交给我。

8、相爱的人不会因为一句分手而结束，更不会因为一个错误而真的做到一次不忠百次不容。相爱的人会在感情的曲折里一起成长。只要经过一个曲折熬了过去爱就又增长了点，又一个曲折熬了过去大家学会珍惜对方一点。一路下去爱越来越深，只会深深的相爱着，懂得对方的好，不会再分开。

9、：《幸福》一是睡在家的床上。二是吃父母做的饭菜。三是听爱人给你说情话。四是跟孩子做游戏。———林语堂

10、人平均一辈子只有7次决定人生走向的机会，两次机会间相隔约7年，大概25岁后开始出现，75岁以后就不再有了。这50年里的7次机会，第一次不易抓到，因为太年轻，最后一次也不用抓，因为太老，这样只剩5次了，这5次机会里又有两次不小心错过，所以实际上只有3次机会了。——哈佛调查报告

11、别人爱怎么想那是他们的事，你就是你。

12、女孩子并不在乎你有没有钱，她在乎的是你会不会发奋努力改变现状；女孩子并不在乎与你一起生活会遇到困难，她在乎的是你会不会迎难而上；女孩子并不在乎你有多浪漫，她在乎的是能不能从生活的点滴中感受到你的爱；女孩子并不在乎你现在的境况如何，她在乎的是你能不能让她看到你们的未来……

13、身上的温暖蛊惑了我，让我误以为那就是爱情。我手里拿着刀，没法抱你。我放下刀，没法保护你。——《死神》

14、一生至少该有一次，为了某个人而忘了自己，不求有结果，不求同行，不求曾经拥有，甚至不求你爱我。只求在我最美的年华里，遇到你。------《恋恋笔记本》

15、最适合你的颜色，才是世界上最美的颜色。

16、爱是诚信，是需要付出代价的，如果不爱，或无法承受，那么就别轻易地将自己的心打开。诱惑寂寞，本不是爱的理由。

17、：两个人吵架，先说对不起的人并不是认输了，并不是原谅了。他只是比对方更珍惜这份感情。。。

18、.我不能保证我可以解决你所有的问题，但是我保证我不会让你独自面对它们。

19、纵然世间任我挑，我的选择仍是你。

20、旋转木马是这世上最残酷的游戏，彼此追逐，却永远隔着可悲的距离。

21、你可晓得有关翠鸟的传说吗？翠鸟在大海上空飞翔的过程中乏力时，它的配偶便钻到他的身子底下，用其强劲有力的翅膀托着它继续向前飞去。一个男人也正是希望自己的妻子能像只雌翠鸟那样，能在深重的岁月里扶持他一段。——毛姆《人生的枷锁》

I got it from FACEBOOK...

This is by far the most meaningful note I've ever came across in facebook...

The first few words really got my attention...

The feelings came all over again~~

Tomorrow gonna sit for the most scariest paper of this semester!

Don't know how to pass through that paper~~

I want to pass that paper!~~

加油加油！！

2011-04-09T14:42:00.000+08:00

难道喜欢一个人需要理由的吗？
喜欢不就是喜欢吗？

其实我自己也不知道
为什么我会喜欢上他
为什么我还是
念念不忘

说真的我自己也不知道
我喜欢他那方面。。

我一直都以为
我能忘记他
我能放下他
我能不想他

但是到最后
我还是忘不了
放不下
不能不想他

前几天我真的以为我能做到。。。
但现在我却做不到。。。

我能怎么做才能
忘记你?
放下你？
不想你？

我知道我每次都说
我能做到。。
我能放下。。
我能不想他。。

我知道你们一定觉得
我说我能做到
但到最后还是做不到。。。

I just know that I'm
not that strong enough..
not that tough enough..
I hate myself for that...

那天我和senior们出去吃点东西。。
有个senior说他有了喜欢的人。。
当时我真的以为我已经不介意了。。
但现在？我自己也不知道。。。

为什么我会喜欢上他？？
为什么您要让我喜欢上他？？

Secret Garden MV - "Love Of My Life"

2011-04-07T02:41:00.001+08:00

Another day has slept away
and now I feel its time to say whats on my mind
Why did it seems so hard to tell you whats been in my heart

Every time I hear your voice the angels sing
Girl I'm here to offer you my soul to keep
I wanna take you in my arms and I want you to stay
'Cause I need you here tonight love of my life

yeah baby…

Somethings so real open my eyes
And now I see there is not much time much precious time
Swept away as the tears roll down
Tears enjoy for the love I found

Every time I hear your voice the angels sing
Girl I'm here to offer you my soul to keep
I wanna take you in my arms and I want you to stay
'Cause I need you hear tonight love of my life

Now I finally figured out what this world is all about
And now its time to live a life forever baby
'Cause I need you here tonight

Every time I hear your voice the angels sing
Girl I'm here to offer you my soul to keep
I wanna take you in my arms and I want you to stay
'Cause I need you here tonight love of my life…love of my life

Life...

2011-03-18T22:42:00.002+08:00

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
Mother Teresa

我们做回朋友好吗？

2011-03-18T01:57:00.003+08:00

看到心爱的人开心是件幸福的事。。。

但我不敢去面对你。。

也不懂怎么面对你。。

因为我知道我做了很多让你不是很想跟我说话的事。。。

我这是希望我们最后的回忆。。。

是最美好的。。

所以就要给彼此一些空间，

给自己一点时间去想通起来。。

给你一点时间去冷静下来。。。

我不会，也不想辩证你的负担。。。

因为我不想失去你这个朋友。。。

虽然做不到男女朋友，我真的不想失去你的友情。。。

我以后都不会去讲些让你不开心的事。。

也不会再写我的心情了。。。

我这希望我们能做回朋友。。。

我也不会在期待什么了。。

因为我知道了，

我们是不可能的。。。

这几天的心情。。。

2011-03-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

My life is filled with nothing nowadays...
It feels so blank...
It feels so nothing...
Don't really know why...
But I think I know why...

These few days 过得很不好。。。
Keep on rushing for assignments and presentation...
Feels like there is no life here...
Feels like a walking zombie...
Doing everything without feeling anything...

Past few days,
suddenly the heart pain...
Don't know why...
People keep on asking me to rest, take care....
Maybe too pressured, over-stress...
But I don't think so...
Even though I slept late,
but I also wake up late...
I've been doing this since the starting of this semester...
There's nothing wrong...
WHY now??

Hopefully it's not going to be prolonged...
I don't want any thing bad happened...
I still have such a long way to go...
I don't want to end it this way...

Recently heard about the Japan disaster...
That day when I heard about the news,
I was really shocked...
I totally don't expect that...
Out of the sudden, saw the news at FB only know it...
At first, earthquake..
then, tsunami...
now, nuclear radiation...
WHAT NEXT??

Is the world really going to end??
The weather these few weeks are really worrying...
Last time, each time came March,
I will get sick 'cause of the HOT weather...
But now??
It's like going back to December all over...
Everyday raining...
No sunny day~~Only grey day~~

I don't wish all these things to happen...
难道世界真的要末日了`吗？？
我不要。。。
全世界的人都不要。。。
我们都还有很多东西都还没做的。。。
我们都有很多愿望还没实现的。。。

J Rice - Thank You For The Broken Heart (Official Music Video) (Original...

2011-03-16T01:25:00.000+08:00

[Lyrics]
Everything I know about love I learned from you, from you
And everything I know about pain I learned from you, from you
You were my only, You were my first
You showed me lonely, and you took me in when I was hurt
But the most important thing you ever gave me,
You was the one that hurt the most

So thank you for the broken heart, oh yeah
And thank you for the permanent scar
Cause if it wasn't for you
I might forget, how it feels to let go
And how it feels to get a brand new start
So thank you for the broken heart

I still remember when you called
and said that he didn't mean anything
How could you expect me to look at you the same way
You were my only but not my last
You showed me lonely, and you made me put you in the past
The most important thing you ever gave me was the one that hurt the most

So thank you for the broken heart, oh yeah
And thank you for the permanent scar
Cause if it wasn't for you
I might forget, how it feels to let go
And how it feels to get a brand new start
So thank you for the broken heart

And everytime I find myself alone in pieces
I find myself I'll just remember when you hurt me and I made it

So thank you for the broken heart
And thank you for the permanent scar
Cause if it wasn't for you
I wouldn't be here, With the love of my life all my pain disappeared
I've come so far
So thank you for the broken heart
I thank you, I thank you
For the broken heart
Broken heart
My broken heart..

-------------

黃威爾-愛犯了錯(MV完整版)

2011-03-15T04:01:00.000+08:00

This song is nice!^_^

Real world...

2011-01-22T01:39:00.000+08:00

This week really is an eye opener for me. Now only I realized that I don't really belong in the group. Every discussion does not really include me in it. I really feel like an outsider!! I really felt like I doesn't belong to that group!! If there's anything, just tell me. I don't want to be left out in the group. I don't wish to feel like an outsider. I also wish to help. I'm also one of the member in the group. Please don't make me feel like I'm a loser in everything.

It really feels like nobody does care about you, about your feelings, about your thoughts!! I'd been sulking the whole day, nobody does really care about me beings, except for a few that I feel like hugging them and cry on their shoulder when they asked how are you!! I mean, I know I've been acting all irky, getting-on-my-nerves-and-you'll-suffer-the-consequences face. But that's because of you guys. Do you guys what's the feeling of being left out, getting-no-signal-at-all in all of the discussion??? I feel like an idiot asking questions and getting all those don't-you-listen-to-what-the-lecturer-taught?? responses. I know I didn't get good results and I'm not clever or genius! But do you have to??

I really want to help in any way that I can so that I don't feel so left out! But please don't think that I offered you just to show you that I can do better than you. I have NO intention at all to do that. I just want to be back, to at least know that I'm still one of group members, to at least contribute something even though small. I know I may sound pathetic, helpless, DFA, but that's what I think. If this doesn't work, I'd rather leave this course than to suffer!!

I told this to my brother last night when he called me. I can't take it all by myself. I didn't tell my housemates as I don't want them to think bad about my group members. That time, I just wish to leave everything here - course, friends, lecturers, and get back home. But I know I can't just let go. I must go on in order to not wasted my life of 2+ years here and go home with NOTHING!! I have to bear with it even though I'm suffering!!

Sometimes I feel weird why can't we, Chinese, just get along with the Malays?? Why must there be any war, arguments between us that will torn us far apart?? I really don't get it! When I was in primary and secondary school, my relationship with any of the Malays were good, some even better than my relationship with the Chinese. But why can't that happen here??? People do make mistakes, just tell them nicely and I'm sure they'll change (for some, though). Why must we use loud voices, menengking sini sana?? Please la... This is University kay?? Not pasar malam or prisoners for you to shout here and there.

And does Malays here have prejudices towards other races?? Why must they give some you're-not-my-race-so-I-HATE-you faces?? They seems to have some hatred in them towards other races. I don't mean ALL Malays, I just mean some of them. Some are very good though. They are willing to help and console too. Why can't others just be like them??

Some people, they have this thought of not trusting Malays with the assignments and lab reports. WHY?? It's because some have shown them that they can't be trusted to be given this task. That is why some of them have to bear with just introduction and results and simple things to do. They can't blame others for doing that. But for some people who can be trusted and are willing to help, they feel like they're useless in the group, they feel like they're just rubbish in that (just like my case, being ignored! Hmmm....). That is why and how misunderstanding happens and eventually will lead to wars and arguments! Sometimes, we should just learn to let go and take the responsibility and not just give rubbish reasons not to do it!!

Some Chinese don't even trust Chinese!! They even betrayed their own kinds! Can you just imagine there's already quite a few Chinese left in the course, but they still want to boikot the others!! For example, the tips given by the lecturers to help in final exams, they'd rather give to others than their own kinds first. Not that I mean, we purposely don't want to give exam tips to other races. Don't tell me, other races doesn't do that too??? We're ALL considered as ethnocentrism. Don't think on one side only, think on both sides before judging kay?? Otherwise, they will just ignore the others and treat them as invisible and unknown, dipulaukan~~ They seldom ask for others' opinions and make decisions as if they're the BOSS here!! (more or less like my case right? Haha...)

I know what I wrote today may have hurt some people or should be censored. Here, I would like to stress out that I don't particularly say anyone, but I was referring as a whole. I've seen and heard many cases, and I don't just mention what happened in my course, but the other courses as well.If any of you terasa, I'm sorry...

May I Love You- Z-Chen

2011-01-15T00:42:00.000+08:00

我可以爱你吗？？？

The end of 2010... And the beginning of 2011

2011-01-06T00:08:00.000+08:00

The year of 2010 really gave a lot of memories for me, be it sweet or bitter.

This 2010 gave me the chance to know a person more deeply and finally get to know his true self. A lot has happened between me and him in 2010. I don't want to mention it here as I don't want to recall all those bitter memories again. Just let it be in my memories, deep and untouchable again! It was kinda weird when the person you've known for few years can become so cold and be so I-don't-know-you-at-all attitude and out of the sudden be so I-DEFINITELY-know-you-and-you're-the-one-who-breaks-my-heart-and-the-friendship attitude. All the sayings said it all. Whatever he said were true and what I said was never right.

Okay, stop sounded so pathetic! After all, the year of tiger wasn't so bad at all. :D I finally get to get involved in some activities other than going and coming back from classes. urghh...BORING!! haha.. Anyways, I get to join the Buddhist club and get to meet new friends and also because of this club, I tried so hard to improve on my Mandarin. :) And I get to become a facilitator which I'd been wishing to do since I entered this Uni. The thing that motivates me to become a facilitator is definitely because of the facilitators that had helped me when I first entered this Uni. Even though there are a few of them which I don't like, but I hope that I'm not one of them. I tried to be as friendly and as approachable to the juniors as possible 'cause I know they're new in this kind of environment and I'm there to make them feel nice about this. I hope I didn't do badly though. Hehe....

Finally in the year 2010, I get to go to a dinner, get to dressed up and took lots of photos with it. Haha... I know I may sounded 三八, but that's the truth. I've never been in such a formal event and dressed up like that before. You can't blame me for that. =) Anyways, that night was almost-perfect! <3

And the most unforgettable moments during that year was the surprised b'day celebration made by the Buddhist Club seniors and Shy Ling. I never thought that they would sacrificed their time to wait for almost 3 hours just to give me a surprise. Honestly, I was really surprised and happy at the same time of course! (Of course I'm happy. There's such a big crowd to celebrate with me.=) I've never had such a big crowd celebrated my b'day in the kitchen! Haha... Anyways, the main reason wasn't entirely that though. There's this one guy senior that I definitely admire so much. He was there, too. :D But for this year, I won't be seeing him again during my b'day. :((( But memories are still memories. I'll never forget that moment. <3)

2010 gave me kinda hell-busy with assignments and lab reports and definitely the results, too. :((( The results wasn't really satisfying at all, even though I got an A for my cooking practical. I TOTALLY don't know how I could get an A! I didn't even pass my assignment!! My coursemates have been telling me that seniors said that anyone from his class that got an A wasn't so ordinary. He seldom gives an A to anyone. The reaction I got was: "Wada...what am I supposed to do if he is targeting me now?? What if I'll get all the blamings even if I didn't do it???" @@ Anyways, I'm not gonna talk about this thing in this post. :) Get back to the original story please.. Haha...

I definitely hope that the new year of the rabbit will give me more luck in studies and also in everything! I really hope this year I'll be more focused in everything that I do and not play with it.

My new year resolutions of the year (everybody has it, including me of course! haha):

i) diet (haha..I've been having this resolution for a few years now, but it never works!)

ii) Don't think too much (but I'm still thinking of the possibilities now! ==)

iii) Get at least into the DEAN list! (I definitely hope so! *fingers crossed*)

iv) Got the courage to at least tell the person I like that I like him (I'm trying not to give him hints like what I did to the other person last time which ended painfully!)

v) May all the person I love be well and happy~~~<3

This post is definitely the longest post I've ever posted! Haha... Hope to get back here with a new post with less sadness and more happiness!!~~

Semester 3...

2010-12-08T00:35:00.000+08:00

Finally, Semester 3 is over!! There are really a lot of things happened during this semester, be it personally, emotionally, physically, or mentally.

First of all, my physical and mental have been really be tested this semester. Especially during cooking class. I've never felt so afraid of entering a kitchen before in my whole 20 years of life. I've been so cool and stress-free whenever I cooked for my family. But this cooking class, it's really making me nervous all the time and the fear I feel inside me when I'm in this class is UNBEARABLE, at first. But it gets better after I've gotten used to the kitchen, lab staffs and lecturer. At some point, I feel like I could pass this subject quite good, 'cause I've already got the basics in cooking (thanks to my mum for 'forcing' me to learn to help in the kitchen when I was small and learn how to cook when I was in Form 1, I think), especially in Malay and Chinese cuisines. But as the time goes by, the lessons in the kitchen are getting more exciting and torturing at the same time. Exciting, because I get to learn to cook Western dishes! Chicken chop, fish fillet, fish and chip, and even lasagna! Haha... But the torturing part, overcome the exciting part...

We were given an assignment, called the 'recipe testing' that requires us to cook a one-dish-meal or a main course dish. My group, consist of me and two other Malay gurls, were asked to do rendang ayam, sambal jawa and nasi himpit. At the beginning of the assignment, it was still going on quite well, until we failed to do the rendang ayam and nasi himpit. So, we were asked by the lecturer to do it again. After the fourth tries, we managed to pass the rendang ayam, but we still need to redo the nasi himpit. We were told from the beginning of the assignment by the lecturer that, our senior did not manage to do the nasi himpit after the 11th tries! We already expected this situation. So, we are okay with it, at first. after the fifth try, we still did not manage to get the right texture of the dish. Then, we were asked to do it after the Haji break. After that break, I received news from one of my group members that the lecturer is not around and will only be back on 6th of DEC!! I was like, WHAT???!!! How are we supposed to do our assignment without him around??? On the 28th, I received news that the lecturer asked us to redo AFTER 6th of Dec! OMG!! I am totally speechless at that time. I really don't know what to do! There's one paper on the next day, and suddenly, this thing pops out??! I totally can't concentrate on what I'm doing, be it reading or memorizing! I've already bought ticket back home on 2nd of Dec! Now, how am I supposed to go back?? Then, after that paper on 29th, I straight away went to seniors' house and asked for their opinions. The solution I got from them, stay back to avoid being attacked by him the next 2 semesters! I don't want!! But what else can I do? And then, on the day after, I text-ed him, asking when can I call him to discuss about the assignment. You know what he replied?? "After 12th DEC!!!" I was like, WTF!!!!!! First, you told us, 6th and now, 12th??? Are you playing with us??? Then when I think back, okay lah..At least, I can go back home and not let the ticket go to waste. Till now, we totally have no news about him or the assignment. I wonder how is he able to mark all our papers and at the same time, wanna redo the assignment. Haihhh.... Okay... Don't talk about it anymore... NEXT!!

In this very semester, I had a crush on two guys!! I wasn't sure it was crush actually. I just feel happy whenever I'm with them. One of my housemate who knew it, asked me how on earth could I possibly had a crush on someone who keeps on teasing you. Aren't girls always fell in love with guys that treated her nice and took good care of her? Honestly, I can't answer that question. I guess I am different from the other gurls. I always blame myself for having a crush so easily. It felt like I'm very 花心. But I knew deep down in my heart, I just felt so lonely. I get jealous very easily when I see couples around me. I know I'm not as pretty as them, not as slim and got such a great body shape as them, but don't I deserve it? Haihh....talking about the two guys, both of them keep on changing places, alternating inside my heart. I never had the guts to tell them what I felt about them. I've always been like this. The last time I've kinda told a guy, whom I'm really close with, he make it straight to the point that we were only gonna be best friends forever! At that time, it hurts so badly that I actually cried because of a guy, for the first time! He's totally a jerk!! Best friend konon!! So, I told myself, I'll never to make the first move anymore! After all, I'm a gurl (that's what most people said, girls NEVER make the first move). Anyways, I should let them go, too. I don't think it'll go any further than being just friends. I guess I will never have the chance to encounter any love story in university life. :(((

Anyways, there are a lot of good things happened too, in this semester. I finally got the chance to become a facilitator for the juniors. Haha... The relationships between our coursemates also has gotten very close as compared to the first two semesters. And I think the best thing that happened in this semester is during my birthday. This year's birthday really surprised me the most. I totally can't believe that the seniors of the Buddhist Society are willing to stay outside of the kitchen of about 2 hours just to give me a surprise. Thanks a lot to all of them! This semester, I got myself busy with some of the Buddhist Society's activities. I never knew that joining this society will be this exciting. I always thought that it will be boring. But I was wrong. The Buddhas' teachings really helps me a lot in my daily lifestyles, even though I can't seems to apply it in some of the cases that happened throughout this semester. Hehe.... And not forgetting, my housemates!! Haha...living with them is the most right thing to do rather than stay at hostel! ^-^ Even though there are some things that I'm not satisfied about at first, but eventually I get used to it and now, we are really like a family!

I think that's all I for now. That's all I can think of right now. Hopefully I will not need to go back to university on the 12th. Dear lecturer, please be nice ya!~

Nicholas Teo張棟樑-低調MV

2010-11-28T02:18:00.000+08:00

Sorry That I Loved You...

2010-11-26T22:09:00.000+08:00

Verse 1
For all of the times that I tried for your smile
For making you think that I was worth the while
So your love love love love love would be mine

Verse 2
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
That no one was there to take a stand
But then love love love made us blind
Chorus
And I’m so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry I was falling in love with you
I’m sorry that it came true but sorry doesn’t turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
So sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
Sorry that I held you tight
Verse 3
And I’m so sorry for…
Making you love me and saying goodbye
For being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by
Verse 4
For giving you every thing that you dreamed
For taking it back when I fled the scene
Sorry love, for wasting your time

Bridge:
An apology now after all of this time
Won’t make any difference tonight
But I’m hoping I’m sorry will open your mind
To love love love love in your life

2010-11-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

Have you any regrets that's been bothering you?? Do you ever wished that you would have done what you wanted in the past? Do you ever wished that you would have said what you wanted to say in the past?? Have you wished that you would want to turn back the time and do all the things you now regretted? Have you wished before that there is a time machine that will brings you back to the past and corrected all the mistakes and do all the regrets you'd done and wish to do??

Regret??

2010-11-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

Yesterday when I was trying to study, one of my Malay course mate asked me. "Do you think our course has a bright future??" I was startled. I was like, err... okay, I've been on this situation myself before. I did, on the first thought, thought that my course would never have a bright future. I've asked a senior before, she said only some of the seniors that have graduated were offered jobs relating to our course. Some even went teaching.(Note: that's what my mum told me to do if I can't manage to get a related job). And I did thought of stopping from this course and took nursing (that's the only course that interest me until now). But, on second thought, why should I stop? I've been here for like, 2 years, and now, I thought of quitting?? After all, it's the knowledge that I'm after, not to mention the amount of money I've put into this course. I'll never learn how to cook western dishes if I'm in the nursing course, right? And now, I feel like I'm starting to like this course even more than before. Even if after I graduated, I couldn't find a related job, I could always opt for another options like taking up the nursing course I've always wanted(or maybe after graduated, I don't feel like becoming a nurse anymore) or even opening a cafe (both my parents and some of my secondary closed-teachers even offered me to open a cafe that has the ability to organize big events). Right now, all I felt was not regret but the eager to carry on studying on this course and finishing it up with flying colors!

For now, I'm waiting for next Sunday night to be on the bus to go back home! I wish to be home as soon as possible and meet with my parents. I miss them so much! After all these pressures I've been taking, I really miss them so much. When my mum called me last night, I suddenly detected the coarseness of her voice. I thought she'd just woke up. But when she told me, she was just starting to be sick, and my dad had just recovered form his sickness, I felt a surge of regret and sadness rushing through my brain, into my mind, into my heart!! I felt so useless!! I will always call 2 or 3 days in between. But the calls I made all these while, I felt so meaningless! What's the point of calling home when you don't even know what's happening there??? I even argued with my brother because of this issue. I blamed him for not telling me what happened in the house. But deep down inside, I know it's my fault. It was me who are not concerned about home. It was me who always talked about my stuffs rather than asked about home! I can't help but blame me, myself!! At that time, I really felt so regret and so feeling like banging my head on the wall!!

Finally!!

2010-11-07T16:01:00.000+08:00

Finally finished my presentation!!haha...what a relief!!after tomorrow, I'll be more relief! But suddenly feel scared about tomorrow's FINAL COOKING... Don't know what's going to happen... Hopefully can finish all the 6 dishes on time. If not, the marks will be gone. Hopefully I won't do silly mistakes tomorrow that will affects my marks. Please let my feelings, emotions, mind calm down. Do NOT get nervous and forget steps. Tonight, I'll have to prepare both physically and mentally. Esp. mentally!

How I Wish I could...

2010-11-03T00:51:00.001+08:00

Can we pretend that the airplanes

in the night sky

are like the shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now...

How I wish I could finish everything in ONE day and don't need to worry the next day...

How I wish I could start it all over again and be more strict when it comes to making decisions...

How I wish I could change the attitudes I acted towards my group members and make them listen to my opinions and not just theirs...

How I wish I could hear your voice and forgets about ALL the problems...

How I wish I could hear your soothing voice that makes me 念念不忘。。。

How I wish I could hear it all over again and you would just solve all my problems...

How I wish I could have you and it will be the only thing I've ever wanted...

My first car...:'(

2010-10-31T23:08:00.000+08:00

Just received the news from my mother.. Dad already sold my first driving car!!waaa........:'(

I haven't look enough of you, haven't use enough of you, and you just leave me like that??? W.H.Y.??!!!!

I don't want!! I don't want!!! I don't want!!!!

I want that car back!!! I don't want to leave you to other people!!

累！！！

2010-10-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

很累啊！！！为什么我的course这么难？？！！！为什么我会拿到这个course???!!!why my course need to cook until so late??so rushing and so tired!!!!PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!!

NEW SONG 2010 - Westlife - As love is my witness [Lyrics Video]

2010-10-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

Every Little Thing You Do - Westlife [Lyrics]

2010-10-26T23:32:00.000+08:00

...

2010-10-24T17:14:00.001+08:00

I don't wish that you will remember everything you'd promised me. I also don't wish to let you know that I love you. I don't want to destroy the friendship we have now. All I wish for is that I'm the one you think about when you wake up and before you go to sleep...

err....

2010-10-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

Why do I feel like you're running away from me? Am I too disturbing to you until you have to lie to me?? What did I do to deserve this??As far as I know, I did nothing wrong lo.. If you feel that I'm very disturbing, you can always tell me. I don't mind, as long as you're honest. I really can't accept this part of you... You really disappoint me!!

STRESS!!!!!

2010-09-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

Today is the third time I've been crying when I'm in university. The first time was when my family were leaving me when I first started university life. The feeling when leaving my family was never easy to bear with. The second was when my dad called on my birthday to wish me happy birthday. I really never thought that my dad will call me to wish me happy birthday. The third time was today. At first, I was just trying to play with my house mates 'cause today they really teased me a lot. But I end up crying, for real. This week is really a tough week for me. I just came back after a 2-week holiday, the time was supposed to be okay okay for me. But instead of feeling relaxed after the 2-week holiday, I got stressed up like hell! I planned to go back hometown to accompany my mum for her operation. Yesterday morning was okay- I asked one of my cooking lecturer to exempt me from attending class on Thursday. He said okay, but need to provide letter. Okay, that's fine for me. In the evening after video session class, I was quite afraid that the other cooking lecturer will not agree to what I asked 'cause seniors said that this particular lecturer was quite strict. Ended up, he was the only lecturer who said yes without asking anything! He just asked me to postpone my recipe testing to next week (even though my group will be doing the first recipe testing and the other group will be doing the second recipe testing, but that's okay with me as long as I get to be back in time to take care of my mum). Then for the food analysis lecturer, he also said the same thing: provide letter to prove you were there to take care of your mum. Okay!:D After that, I called my Asas Keusahawanan lecturer to postpone my presentation time. He asked me to see him at 8pm. Okay, for my mum's sake, I went. Then after discussing, without getting any solution, he asked me to wait until 10 pm as there's other group that wants to present. I was like, WHAT?? You asked me to come, I came. I thought the solution will be made by then. But I was wrong! I said it's too late already. I'll meet you tomorrow. He said okay, call me first.
Today I asked one of the SK senior to change time with me as I really can't make it this week. He said cannot. They also haven't do the slides. Okay, never mind. To make the story short, I was in the kitchen the whole afternoon cooking. At 5pm, I went to see the lecturer. He wasn't in his room. When I came back home, I messaged him through Facebook to ask his favor, his 'jasa baik' to let me go back hometown. He messaged back me and said "Call me now!!!". I was like, err....why so angry wor?? Okay, I called him straight away. He asked me to do my presentation on Tuesday or Wednesday. I said Wednesday as that's the only day I can take to delay to let my group member to finish up the slides.
I really can't stand the pressures of needing to finish up all the works by Wednesday. I still have TWO microbiology lab reports to do, Microbiology notes to read and presentation slides to finish!!ARGHHH..............
P.S.: I'm really sorry to my house mates. They were really shocked to see me suddenly cry. Je suis désole!

Gosh.....

2010-08-28T02:18:00.000+08:00

   If you were given a task to organize an important event, what would you do??Would you just do it ALL by yourself or ask from other people's help??? It was an event to reflect the credibility of our batch and you guys just ruined it like that, as easy as that???! Don't you guys ever think of consulting or asking for our help??ALL you think about getting credits! About being recognized by your lecturer!! And now, look what you'd done??? You've brought us the hell!! And I'm sure there's more about to come!!
   I've been very busy this whole week with not a free day to rest at all!! Today and tomorrow was supposed to be my free day with no worries and nothing to do..But because today have tests at 9am-10am and 10.30am -11.30am and food microbiology class at 2.30pm-4pm and business plan discussion at 4pm-7pm.. ohh..okaY, I thought I could actually steal some time during 11.30am-2.30pm to go back home and have some rest before continuing my battle for the day..Who knows, we, all the Chinese 2nd-year students, were asked to go back to kitchen as the lecturer wanted to see us.. In the end of the meeting, we were assigned with tones of works!! With all the lab reports having to finish before the raya break, and the business plan to be completed before the 29th this month, why must the problems arise at this time?? I've already had enough!! The people in charge can always tell us earlier that you need our help, and not 1 day before the event when we're busy doing our business plan!!!
   1 day before the important event...nothing have been done yet...the mise en place, the preparation of the place, the buying of the ingredients...and now, even the place of event haven't been confirmed yet!!We will be having our event at 6pm on 28/8/10..we'll only have our time to decorate and prepare the place at 1pm??? We also need to prepare and the foods are to be ready at 5pm! Nothing have been done now and you expects everything to be ready at your fingertips by 6pm tomorrow??!
   I really can't think of any reason from your point of view for being so irresponsible! I know you're busy, but we, too are busy..But at least, you should prepare and organize everything from the start! You should plan what you're going to do and how you're going to do! And not just pinpoint at people who did nothing wrong at all! We're not like you, an actress who know how to act well! We're not kambing korban for you to avoid being scolded by lecturers!
   I just hope that everything's gonna be alright tomorrow.. I really don't want to be blacklisted by the lecturers! I still have 3 semesters to go with the same lecturers... I don't want to be scolded every time he entered the class. I don't want to be the victim of his angriness....

Tired~

2010-08-16T18:41:00.000+08:00

I am really tired now. Tired of everything. Tired of reading. Tired of studying. Tired of doing lab reports. Tired of having to cook in the university kitchen every week and end up by getting low marks. Tired of waiting. Tired of thinking of anything. Tired of liking someone and end up getting hurt. I believe everything happens for a reason. But does it have to happens until this stage??? I am really starting to feel the hopelessness of the endless tiring days. The only thing that keeps me going now is the hopes my parents are putting on me, the hopes that my brother are putting on me, the hopes that my sister are putting on me...the hopes everyone puts on my shoulder, hoping that someday I could be a successful person. And also the hopes that I have on myself that someday I could be a successful nutritionist.

Why? WHy?? WHY???

2010-08-09T21:29:00.000+08:00

Why this semester is getting harder and harder?? Why this semester is getting more and more tiring as the days goes by?? Why does this semester have to be like this?? Why does this semester have so many lab reports to do?? Why?? Why?? Why??!
I'm getting more and more impatient. I'm getting more and more tired. I'm getting more and more into trouble. I'm starting to loosen on my grip. I'm getting more and more emptied. I'm giving more and more bad attitudes towards my friends. Why does this have to happen to me?? I'm starting to let go of a lot of things. I'm starting to give up on everything; studies, friendships, homeworks, tests, quizzes, and now even my life!
I'm really sick of all these things that happened in my life now! I really don't know what to do now. It seems like there's no ending to all these things! It seems like there will never be any ways for me to overcome all the problems I'm facing now.What am I supposed to do now?? Can someone tell me??

Moody day~

2010-08-04T18:25:00.000+08:00

People are always greedy and selfish. It’s in their nature. But can’t you guys just think for a moment about how others around you feel?? Just because a small piece of ‘free’ layer cake done by your ‘beloved’ lecturer, you guys ignored other people around you?? Other people who was carrying a almost-RM10000 microscope that if, people-who-craved-so-much-about-‘free’-things ‘accidently’ knocked her hand on the people who was holding the microscope, wouldn’t it be the people who hold the microscope get scolded and asked to pay for the damage???! Can’t you guys just stop longing for the ‘free’ layer cake for a WHILE and make way for those who wish to do their job thoroughly???

And to the lab demonstrator, I know you have been working hard on the Practical 2 for the past 2 days. And I know you’re tired, your eyes are tired. But you also have to think on our side. We were not exposed on handling microscopes for a long period, unlike you. Can’t you just be a little bit patient when seeing us did our practical?? Why must you scold us like it was nobody’s business?? We are also humans. We also did mistakes! I’m sure you also had done some mistakes before, right? Why must you talk as if we had done a huge mistake on you?? It’s as if we’d annoyed you and irritated you!

Today has been a really bad day for me. I was totally not in a good mood at all after those incidents! I know we, as a Buddhist who practiced Buddhism are not encouraged to talk behind peoples’ back. We are supposed to stand on their shoes and look from their point of view and why they did that. Maybe towards the lab demonstrator, I can understand her feelings. But what about those who craved so much on the layer cake??? I was totally victimized!

How I wish I can just talk to someone about this. Sometimes I really wish that I have a boyfriend who can understand me and is by my side every time I feel sad. I just need a shoulder to cry on and to seek some comfort. Is that hard to find someone like that??

The Love Poem

2010-04-29T23:17:00.001+08:00

It’s because of you; I dare to trust in love

For I’ve never trusted in love before

Not after I’ve been hurt the last time

It’s because of you; I dare to love again

For I’m scared to love again

As I’m afraid of the consequences that might occur

It’s because of you; I dare to dream again

For I’m afraid of dreaming of

What I know that couldn’t happen

It’s because of you; I dare to walk this road

For I know that you’ll be at the end of the road

To catch me,

To save me,

To release me,

From all these people

It’s because of you; I dare to believe that there is still love in this world

For I’ve been hurt once

Where I thought I would never ever find love again

It’s when I met you that day that I feel my life is alive again

For I feel that there’s something in you

That I ought to know

That I ought to find out

That I hope when I find out, it will be what I wished for

It’s when I talked to you that day

That I feel like we will go further than this

But too bad you were gone

Even before I want to get to know you better

How I wish right now

That I could see you again

That I could talk to you again

That I could joke with you again

But I know that would only be in my dreams

‘Cause I know what I hoped for will never happen

For I heard that you already had your righteous person

This will only be in my dreams forever

But thanks for making me believe in love again…

Stupid B****!!!

2010-03-26T02:13:00.002+08:00

Stupid B****! How dare you 'doakan' my Biostatistics project to be rejected?? Just because a lot of groups, including hers, have been rejected, is it necessary for ALL groups to be rejected?! Can't we have some groups that did great in making that project and don't get rejected? Even if the lecturer didn't get on time to mark all the projects, and maybe my group too, there is NO problem at all to me to do it again! After all, there are so many groups that have been rejected. Even if my group is rejected too, it mean nothing to me! Why did she have to 'doakan' my group to be rejected?! It's as if she's cursing me and my group! DAMN!!!

Everybody has their weaknesses and mistakes and that includes talking bad about lecturers behind their back. No offense to lecturers! But please larh... Nobody's perfect! Don't tell me she'd never, NEVER in her life, talked bad about lecturers?! Why does she have to do something that will make people hate her?! Someone said she will tell whichever lecturer that she'd heard others talked bad about that lecturer. She have nothing better to do is it??Dahla gemuk, rambut pendek, tak sopan langsung!! Tak ketuk pintu, terus masuk! Ape?! Die ingat bilik I ni bilik die ke? Bilik adik die ke?? kURANG AJAR! Jangan ingat die tu tua beberape tahun dari I, die boleh masuk bilik I ikut suka hati die je ke hah?? I xde privasi langsung taw!! No offense to other people who read this, but I ingat kite patut bersopan-santun dan jaga tingkah laku kite?? Terjah masuk je bilik orang, itu kata bersopan ke??! HUH!!

I'm not discriminating anyone, but it really annoys me a lot, and I mean, A LOT, for those who just burst into my room without knocking the door first! Please larh, where's your manners??! Luckily I'm not doing anything obscene at that moment. If not, I'll be busted!

Luckily all my roommates and my coursemate were by my side when I was stressed by this mindless person. Really appreciate it!~hehe...谢谢你们！！Nandri!~ Terima Kasih!~ Without them, I really don't know who to turn to...

Uni life starts again...

2009-12-25T15:03:00.006+08:00

My university life starts again..assignments, lab reports, quizzes and classes...

This semester, I took French language again,=) which I hope is a good thing and can help me with my overall pointer. Last semester, I got A for French!haha... And surprisingly, I got A- for my Biochemistry..But I'm disappointed with my Physical Chemistry which I only managed to get C-!haihh....It's the worst and hated-the-most subject in last semester!! But luckily I managed to get into dean's list eventhough my name was the last one in the dean's list from my course.

This semester, the subjects are much much more harder than last semester's subjects. In this semester, I have Introduction To Food Chemistry, Basic Analytical Chemistry, Biostatistics, Human Principles of Nutrition, Kenegaraan, Academic Writing Skills, Philosophy of Management and French Language II.

Overall, it was ok lah...BUT, Philosophy of Management classes were all-boring! Even during the first class, the lecturer only managed to finish 3 slides of lecture in one hour!! Can you just imagine how awfully boring were all of us???? The lecturer talked and talked and talked and elaborated on just 1 small point of the slide. The best subject so far in this semester is definitely the Human Principles of Nutrition!haha...This lecturer's from Indonesia and she's the only lecturer that teaches fully in English. And her English-speaking has those of U.K. slang...

Introduction To Food Chemistry and Basic Analytical Chemistry are the subjects that I find it quite hard to follow especially Food Chemistry. They have lots of formulas and procedures to remember.

This semester I really hope I can get a better result than last semester. I don't wish to be the last amongst the firsts in the list.

haizzz.....

2009-10-14T23:04:00.002+08:00

Some people just like to play guessing games rather than finding out the truth. Sometimes for those who "like" playing this game, don't you guys feel tortured?! You're just torturing you and your friend's emotional feelings! Maybe to some of you, you don't feel this way. But to me, who's feeling it right now, I felt very very terrible! Everything I do now doesn't seems right at all! I kept telling to myself that I won't think too much on this thing, but it seems that my mind doesn't follow what I said! It's really suffering knowing that your friends are angry with you without you knowing what went wrong! It's even torturing when your friends suddenly stopped talking to you without ANY reasons!
When your mood turns very bad on certain day, all you wish is to have someone to talk to right? And when your friend doesn't even bother to listen or even calls you back to know how's your conditions, what do you feel?? Of course you will feel very sad and angry! Not that I'm trying to say bad things about you, but what if you're in my condition that day? How would you feel if I doesn't even want to care about what you said and doesn't even bother to ask how you feel after that???? To me, that incident was the worst among the worst happenings ever happened in my whole life!
P.L.E.A.S.E tell me what I've done wrong! I don't wish for our friendship to end just like that!!

Bad Week....

2009-10-11T15:07:00.003+08:00

This few days was really really a bad days for me... My room couldn't opened 2 days ago and today something really really bad happened to me. I really don't know what to do now. I don't wish to bother anyone but I couldn't resist it. Sorry for those who felt that I'm bothering them with my problems and thanks to Chui San for being by my side when I needed it the most! Thanks for listening to all my problems and thanks for consoling me and thanks for making me happy again.

Dialogue...

2009-10-02T23:06:00.002+08:00

This is the dialogue that we're asked to do and present it today...

Anne et Christine sont des meilleures amies pendant leur école primaire. Elles font la connaissance depuis Christine habite avec sa famille aux Etats Unis. Un jour, Anne va au restaurant. Soudain, elle rencontre Christine.
Anne : Excusez-moi, êtes-vous Christine ?
Christine : Oui. Pour quoi ?
Anne : Tu ne te souviens plus de moi ?
Christine : Non… mais… attends ! C’est qui ?
Anne : C’est Anne. Ta meilleur amie de l’école primaire.
Christine : C’est vrai ?
Anne : Oui, bien sûre. Comment vas-tu ?
Christine : ça va bien merci !
Anne : Quand tu viens en France ?
Christine : Je viens d’arriver en France. Et toi, comment vas-tu ?
Regarde ! Tu es si différente !
Anne : Haha… Toi aussi. Tu deviens plus belle !
Christine : Haha… Non ! Je suis la même Christine. Je ne change
pas. Alors, que fais-tu ?
Anne : Je suis étudiante de médecin à l’université
Cambridge. Et toi ?
Christine : Je suis étudiante de droite à l’université Harvard.
C’est intéressant là-bas ?
Anne : J’aime beaucoup mon université ! C’est très belle
avec beaucoup de natures.
Christine : C’est bien ! J’ai des photos de mon université dans
mon blog. Mon université est très belle aussi.
Anne : Je veux regarder ces photos ! Tu veux manger avec
moi ?
Christine : Non, merci ! J’ai un rendez-vous maintenant. Peut-
être la prochaine fois.
Anne : D’accord ! A bientôt !
Christine : A bientôt !

Ma Famille

2009-10-02T23:04:00.002+08:00

This is the french essay that we were asked to do. I really did it on my own..haha...although I did use dictionary..hehe...maybe there's some grammar mistakes...it's totally not altered yet..

Je m’appelle Chuah Su Mei. Je suis Malaisienne et j’habite à Seri Manjung avec ma famille. J’ai 19 ans. Je suis étudiante à Université Malaysia Terengganu.
Ma famille consisté 5 membre ; mon père, ma mère, ma sœur, mon jeune frère et moi. Mon père, il s’appelle Chuah An Kim et il a 53 ans. Il est technicien dentaire et il fait dentier. Il est grand et beau beaucoup. Il joue de la guitare et il a une belle voix. Il aime jouer au badminton et au tennis de table. Il aime beaucoup manger le gâteau au beurre mon mère fait. Mais, il déteste boit du thé et café.
Ma mère, elle s’appelle Puah Poh Lian. Elle a 50 ans et elle est infirmier dentaire. Elle a les yeux petite et cheveux court. Elle est belle et gentille aussi. Elle aime aider mon père et elle aime beaucoup faire les gâteau. Elle aime jouer au badminton aussi. Elle préfère boire du thé et café.
Ma sœur, elle s’appelle Angie. Elle a 22 ans et elle est étudiante de pharmacie à Université Collège of Sedaya International(UCSI). Elle est belle et elle est cheveux longue. Aussi, elle est grande. Elle déteste sports mais elle aime lire les livres. Elle préfère manger le gâteau au fromage.
Mon jeune frère, il s’appelle Kenny. Il a 16 ans et il est étudiant à école secondaire. Il est grand et il est beau beaucoup, tout aussi grand que mon père. Il aime jouer au badminton et lire les livres. Il est brillant étudiant et professeurs l'aime beaucoup. Il aime aider mon parent mais il déteste jardinage. Il aime manger le gâteau au chocolat et il aime beaucoup boire chocolat chaud.
C’est ma famille. J’aime beaucoup ma famille !

2009-10-02T21:35:00.002+08:00

Haihh.....so long d didn't blog...I missed the old times where I can blog anytime I want, do whatever I can, sleep whenever I want to, play whenever I feel like... But now, it's almost gone. I can't even manage to have one good night sleep! Now, it's all about tests, tests,and tests! I really wanted to get excellent grades for all my subjects especially for Biochemistry! I've already tried all my best to excel. But why I still can't manage to do all the questions given?? Especially Physical Chemistry! How can I manage to go through all this?! Arghhh.....

The most important thing, I miss my family so much!! Even though it's just a week after I went back, but the feeling of missing them gets deeper and deeper every second, every minute, every hour, every day, especially my brother! I miss the moments when we both gossiped about his schoolmates and teachers, played and the moments when we both went out together! (Although I have to spend money on everything we bought!) And each time I listened to their voices, I got very happy! At least, I know that they're safe and healthy all the time. And although the phone calls are short, but it's totally worth it!! The feeling won't be that strong anymore...

And fortunately, my coursemates and my roommate are there to cheer me up whenever I'm sad and whenever I have problems with other friends. Especially to Wan Di, my roommate, thanks for lending me your ears! To Jia En and Jie Yin, thanks for cheering me up whenever I'm down. Without you guys, I don't know how long can I stand with all the pressures.

To my best friends, I miss you guys! I miss all the old times when we're in secondary school. Especially when we're playing in class, joking, gossiping about everyone... Here, I can't do anything like what we used to do last time. And I kinda miss my 'part-time job' in school. Hehe...'Cause everytime my brother told me about his prefect 'job', I really kinda miss it, especially when it's the time to scold or 'saman' those troubled students! And during 'spot-check' too!haha...

Starting A New Life In Uni And Missing The Past...

2009-06-24T22:57:00.005+08:00

It's been so long since I've touched the books and use my mind on anything. And now, I have to start regenerating my mind again. Haihh.... I still remember how I used to struggle on the exams until late at night together with the messages that came from one person every few minutes. And now, my University life going to start in few days time. And I think all that happened during Form 6 won't be happening to me again. It'll only be memories that will stay in my mind forever.
So, to all my friends..
THANKS ALOT!! I'll remember EVERY single moment that I have had with you guys...
YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST IN THIS WORLD!!!

My Interview...

2009-05-20T22:03:00.003+08:00

W.H.Y. BUMIPUTERAS are weaker in mathematics subject than CHINESE???

Can anyone answer this question for me??
That was ONE of the questions the interviewers asked me. How could I answer them without hurting bumiputera feelings??

Rynn: It depends on the students itself. If they want to study and learn maths, they should be able to do it.
Interviewer: But it's not the teacher's fault? Not the PNP fault??

GOSH!! I was speechless at that moment. I can't even think of anything to say anymore!

And LUCKILY I wasn't asked to teach maths in front! When the first person came out of the room, she told us that those who chose Maths have to teach in front! I started to panic! I started to think which Maths chapter should I teach them?? Finally, I took Quadratic Equation which I'm quite good at. But ended up, they didn't even asked me that. LUCKILY!

Sometimes I hated myself for being so nervous! They asked me to described myself, which I can't answer properly. I can't even tell them what are my characteristics and attitudes! ARGHHH.......
And they asked what is PPSMI(luckily I've read it the night before. Hahaha..), the issue of Mat Rempit, the good qualities of a teacher, and is it ok with me if the Ministry send me to Sabah or Sarawak(I'll be VERY happy to obliged!!hahaha...)

Sorry....

2009-05-07T22:54:00.002+08:00

Hopefully the previous post doesn't sound too harsh...

It's been TWO months plus..

2009-05-06T22:03:00.003+08:00

She's been working there for two months and nine days, and still, she does not know where to put the medicines! I've been telling her again and again that if she REALLY wants the job, she should take the initiative to learn ALL the things there. When she came to ask for the job, her mum told me that she does not want to study anymore. When her mum told me that, she looks like want to cry!! I really feel for her mum. She's behaving that way and her brother is another. Her brother even RAN AWAY from home!

Ok, back to her story at work. Today the stock came in quite a lot and the new lady still does not know how to punch the price. Then when she came, she started to take all the stock that I've punched to the store room. When it's my time to looked after what she had done in the store room, I suddenly realised something was missing..
My PANADEINE!!!(It's a medicine used especially for those who have the symptoms of dengue-like or chikugunya-like...)
Last time she had asked me before, "Where is PANADEINE??". AND I've told her where the place is. And now, she put the whole 3 stocks in front, under the cabinet! My GOODNESS!!

If one day I didn't scold her, she can't live without it is it?!!
AND everytime I scolded her, she just tersengih-sengih or just make don't know about it. There's one time when I scolded her, she didn't even looked at me and just nodded her head!
I really damn pissed off!!
Even now, her aunt who's working there started to hasut the new lady not to listen to me! I can sensed that her aunt starting to dislike me for what I've done to her niece.

ONE day....I shall wait for THAT day when I can't no longer stand her attitude, I shall burst! And that time, she REALLY gonna get from ME!!

Characteristic of certain people...

2009-05-04T22:19:00.004+08:00

It's kinda weird for certain people. They tend to think the other way round. Then they told us that they thought we think this way, which is OBVIOUSLY not true, and they start to merajuk. They themselves make their own assumptions and later blamed us for what they thought we were thinking. I really don't understand what were on their mind!

My first blog...

2009-05-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

Haha.. This is my first time ever blogging. I've been longing to have a blog since...errr...I also forgot d.. Haha.. I hope this blog will last long with all the happenings in my life.! Haha.. Hope you guys will enjoy it and PLEASE leave your comments ya.. :)

P.S: Hope you don't mind with my grammar mistakes. Haha.. I'm still learning k?

rYnn's th0ughT...

我们俩是不可能的~~

Love or just for fun?

Ryan Cabrera - True

Olivia Ong - Sometimes When We Touch

嚴爵 好的事情 MV

Say Hello To Goodbye - Shontelle

Unbelievable!!~

A1 - Every time

Happy B'day Mummy!!

粽子 Festival~~

~Changes~

Fakers!!~

David Cook - The Last Goodbye

Unlucky Day~

張惠妹‧我最親愛的‧完整MV

~~无话可说~~

Just A Kiss - Lady Antebellum

REALISTIC People~~

这些话、这么短、那么暖…

Secret Garden MV - "Love Of My Life"

Life...

我们做回朋友好吗？

这几天的心情。。。

J Rice - Thank You For The Broken Heart (Official Music Video) (Original...

黃威爾-愛犯了錯(MV完整版)

Real world...

May I Love You- Z-Chen

The end of 2010... And the beginning of 2011

Semester 3...

Nicholas Teo張棟樑-低調MV

Sorry That I Loved You...

Regret??

Finally!!

How I Wish I could...

My first car...:'(

累！！！

NEW SONG 2010 - Westlife - As love is my witness [Lyrics Video]

Every Little Thing You Do - Westlife [Lyrics]

...

err....

STRESS!!!!!

Gosh.....

Tired~

Why? WHy?? WHY???

Moody day~

The Love Poem

Stupid B****!!!

Uni life starts again...

haizzz.....

Bad Week....

Dialogue...

Ma Famille

Starting A New Life In Uni And Missing The Past...

My Interview...

Sorry....

It's been TWO months plus..

Characteristic of certain people...

My first blog...

嚴爵好的事情 MV

无话可说